How do you stay strong and body-positive when there’s an entire world out there that is filled with self-loathing, that is bombarding us with images of over-photoshopped models, that worships a fashion industry that spews hate and disdain for plus size bodies?
I am here to say that the fashion industry should be held accountable for both ignoring plus size bodies and by saying hateful things about plus size bodies. I am happy to see brands like ModCloth taking a stand against photoshopping models I’m encouraged by ModCloth and indie brands that are selling more sizes and using a diverse array of body types to advertise their clothes. It’s important to see a variety of body types represented. Studies show that 65% of women say that they “never” or “rarely” see their body type represented in fashion advertising. No wonder so many plus size women feel self-concious about their outfits and their bodies.
Fashion industry: plus size bodies are beautiful, they exist and they want to be represented in advertising and have clothing available to them.
And to my fellow plus size women, I want to encourage you to remember every day the following things regardless of what you see in magazines or online:
1) YOU ARE WORTHY of beautiful clothes in YOUR SIZE. Continue to ask retailers to carry your size. Don’t shop at places that have responded negatively to requests for plus size options.
2) YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS YOU ARE. Avoid comparisons to others, spend time daily working on your self-esteem. Avoid self-pity and self-deprecation (don’t speak negatively about yourself). Sing "Flawless" in the mirror if you need a boost or write encouraging quotes and post them on your mirror.
3) REACH OUT. No one is perfect and we all have bad days. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need encouragement or perhaps you can seek body-positive counseling. If you’re in a styling rut, reach out to a plus size fashion blogger or stylist for some advice.
September 6, 2014 - My Wedding
It’s been almost a year of planning and the event moved from Chicago to Houston and so many crazy things happened, but we got hitched!
S and i spent a week at my family’s “ranch” in a tiny town outside of Houston prepping in the 90 degree weather for our weekend wedding. It was such hard work - but the results were stunning. My parent’s backyard was transformed into a wonderland.
I originally purchased a dress from Alfred Angelo, but decided it was too much for the backyard affair and I ended up buying this dress which I used for our Queer Femme Wedding photoshoot this spring from ModCloth. I just adore this dress - the subtle tone, the light fabric, the sparkles. It set off nicely against S’s navy windowpane suit from topman.
“Instructions For Life In The New Millennium by the 14th Dalai Lama”
Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
And that a loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
Be gentle with the earth, be gentle with one another.
When disagreements come remember always to protect the spirit of your union.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
So love yourselves, love one another, love all that is your life together and all else will follow.
For the afterparty at our favorite goth(ish) club Numbers, I wore another modcloth dress - this one in white with a Zana Bayne harness and a black veil.
It was a perfect day - one I will never forget. And now I’m recuperating back at home - trying to catch up on sleep and just feel rested. We aren’t taking our honeymoon until February, so for now it’s just looking forward to that.
Details of the day
Afterparty dress “Just sway the word” - Sz 1X via ModCloth (I’m selling this one for $70 if you’re interested - message me)
Harness - Zana Bayne Petite Harness in Black (custom size)
Black and Gold Veil - made from vintage scarf purchased from PreSouled
Professional photos above by R.S. Photography in Houston TX (additional photos by friends)
Almost Wedding Photos
Some of y’all may know that I’m getting married in Houston this weekend - omg! I’m really excited to share little bits of that day with everyone, but wanted to show off this cool pre-wedding shoot that we did. S and I wanted stark/graphic outfits to go along with the amazing public art in Houston. I added pops of color like the belt and bracelet. These photos by RS Photography turned out perfectly!
Black/White Dress - Dorothy Perkins - US Size 18 (then tailored to my waist)
Teal Belt - ASOS
Necklace - Vince Camuto via nordstrom rack
Black Shoes - Chromatic Gallerie
Bracelet - unknown brand via nordstrom rack
Glasses - SEE Eyewear (both pair)
My hair by the amazing Patrick at Fringe Salon
S is wearing a shirt from nordstrom rack, tailored suiting shorts, tall socks, creepers and ray ban sunglasses
This weekend I decided to scope out the local Target’s plus size “Pure Energy” section (again). My local store in Chicago had a TON of new items and I was impressed with how well organized it was in addition to that. They had at least 10 racks of new pieces, including a lot on clearance. Also I just check out the website items and I’m impressed with their use of ACTUALLY FAT models (as in bigger than a customary plus size model size 14) YAY!
I love relaxed striped shirts and when I saw this one, I got so excited. It’s soft, fitted in the right places - a great easy casual piece. I paired it with some of my skinny-fit jeans and some flats to go to a going away dinner for my best friend.
Dinner was bittersweet. It’s so hard to let go of someone who has been so close. I know they’re moving for good reasons, and I do have great hope that we’ll stay close, but you know how distance can be. I’m thankful at least that she’s in my wedding in a few weeks, so I at least get to see her again very soon.
Speaking of which, things might be a little quiet here as wedding gets closer. I’ll be doing a big master wedding post soon after, but there’s a lot going on until then.
My weekends have been so busy lately (my life actually has been crazy!). I feel like I can’t really ever get caught up on all the things i have going on.
While out last night visiting the super cool Space Oddities shop and dropping off some new LastCraft candles and tarot decks for them, I had an amazing tarot reading by Sarah Lorraine aka esoteriaofone. One of the biggest take-aways for me from the reading was that I need to CHILL. So part of this weekend is me just taking some time for myself to refocus.
What do you like to do to engage in self-care? I like to turn off my electronic devices, read, take baths (I’m obsessed with LUSH products) and just sit and think. I have a lot to think about with my 35th birthday in a week and my wedding in about a month!
I’ve been very thankful for my Gwynnie Bee account lately as it provides me with lots of pretty clothes without me having to deal with finding the time for shopping. This gorgeous geometric print dress is so much fun to wear on a summer day. It’s a little on the short side, and I would wear leggings with it if I were out for the day. If you’re not a member of gwynnie bee yet - really I can’t recommend it more highly! It’s free the first month and they keep adding more and more unique brands. Feel free to use my link to join if you’ve been on the fence, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
V-neck Kristen Miles Dress - Size 3x (this dress runs very small IMHO, check the size chart) via Gwynnie Bee
Black Wedges - Deena & Ozzy via Urban Outfitters
Earrings - Thrifted
Necklace - made by a friend
Quartz Ring - Stone And Honey
Glasses - SEE Eyewear